Leisurely Yours

     This past few days I've been quiet due to many factors, such as: our town's annual fiesta celebration, a writer's lag, and failure to concentrate much.
     I've been trying to discipline myself by posting here daily, but lack of sleep takes its toll.
     Part of the fiesta's celebration is the canoan food street festival, wherein stalls selling variety of foods are lined along the street for diners who want to eat while enjoying themselves with the different bands that played every night on a stage fronting these stalls. This celebration lasted five straight nights. Well, we did enjoy watching the band since it only happens during this time of year. Thus it is hard for me to concentrate here. Moreover, I have given myself the pleasure of giving up my meditation and contemplation time as of the moment in favor of joining with others in this celebration-for a change. It was worth it, though I have not yet completely given myself the enough rest needed to recharge myself fully.
     It's quite fulfilling sometimes to be naughty by breaking a discipline for a time. It's kind of breathing a fresh air of another kind. All in all I was happy and is preparing myself now to align my discipline and schedule once again.
     Get happy!   

Flow, Do Not Resist

     Some say by merely flowing with our life, we are not living life to the fullest. For according to them, a well-lived life is one in which you know your passions and do everything to fulfill it. Well, it might be true because our passion is what defined us as the persons we were meant to be. But based on experience, not everything we want to do, we immediately seek to fulfill it. For there is a factor we call time and things beyond our control. I may not like something I have or where I am at the moment; yet I have to stay here because the time for me to move and get out is not yet at hand. Thus, instead of resisting and struggling, I have to be still, keep quiet, and most of all, just flow.
     By merely flowing with the tide of my life, I have ample time to prepare for my next move, and breath for whatever that is yet to come. 
      

The Uniqueness Of You

     Sometimes it drives me to nuts to have the kind of achievements as others have. I long to write the topic they wrote; I long to do the style they have. Yet, no matter how I try I could never achieve their achievements. All because their achievements are theirs alone. They are built to be the kind of persons that they are. While I am of a different category. I am born just to be myself. Whatever I am, this is the business that I alone can fathom.
      I need to follow my own path and do the things my own way. I may meet with so many questions for having the choices I have, or having done the things I do, but this is just me. No one could ever understand me the way I understood myself. Just as I could not question others for what they are because that is just the way they are. This is the uniqueness of each one; the uniqueness that must be discovered and developed. Only one thing kills our uniqueness-comparison. In order for me to focus on my uniqueness, I need to pass through the barrier of comparison. That one day I could say, I did it my way.

The Way To Happiness

Most people are searching for happiness. They're looking for it. They're trying to find it in someone or something outside of themselves. That's a fundamental mistake. Happiness is something that you are, and it comes from the way you think. ~ Wayne Dyer

For most of us who are on the business of seriously pursuing happiness, we may say it is elusive. To know that happiness is something that we are and comes from the way we think, might be easy to accept. Yet, the way to knowing that happiness inside of us, is so difficult to digest. Because we are filled with so many information about how to achieve ultimate happiness. We came to believe this information and to the wise words of people who are more aware than us. Until we forgot to believe our own capacities. We forgot to consider looking for that happiness inside of us.     

It might be true that happiness is inside of us. Yet before we fully realize this, we have to first let go of our old beliefs of what happiness is. We must first have to let go of our old beliefs of how to achieve happiness. In short, it would take us to be tired of everything that others are saying, until we just shrug our shoulders and say I quit. I quit pursuing happiness. Then and there our thoughts be cleared. When our mind is free of everything, it is then we are able to think clearly. And who knows, it would be the time for us to hear the voice of happiness, whispering in the deepest part of us, waiting to be recognized? 

Greatness

Look not your greatness outside of you,
Rather search that greatness within of you.
Long not for people to consider you great,

Because if you do,
It has nothing to do with you;
It has something to do with them.
The realization is not in you, it's in them.
And when these people who consider you great,
Would someday be gone,
From whom would you get to hear
That you are being great?
Search for that greatness within.
When you finally find it,
There is no need for you to announce it;
It announces itself without you being aware.

My Neighbor's Idle Yard

     I have a neighbor who is a widower. And he takes not proper care of his idle yard. We often would say, what a waste. He could plant vegetables in his yard to make it useful and be look tidy.
     During rainy days my neighbor's idle yard  always gets attention; for it is in these days that the grasses grow taller. And we see almost all variety of grasses. We could only look at the yard while shaking our heads saying, what a waste, what a waste. For we could clearly see in our minds the healthy vegetables and blooming flowers had our neighbor that industrious.
     A day after a heavy rainfall, I happened to glance at my neighbor's grassy yard because of the noises I heard. To my amazement, two kinds of flocks of birds were busy picking at the grasses' seeds. They kept on chirping and hopping from grass to grass, as if they found a gold mine. They seemed to be happy and excited.
     At the other side of the yard, I also saw many tiny butterflies chasing each other over the grasses as if playing and looking for food at the same time. What life! I was lost for words with what I saw. I just allowed myself to be carried away by the sight.
     For a long time, I was again reminded of nature's beauty and the wonder of life. God always make something good of what we consider as useless and unimportant.
     From then on my neighbor's idle land was no longer an ugly sight for us. And we always look forward to the time when the birds and butterflies would return to my neighbor's yard and give us the pleasure of enjoying such little beautiful moments with them.

The Fly

     The fly is one of the most irritating insects in this planet. It lands on anything prohibited and enters room without permission. The moment we see one, our adrenaline rushes and urges us to get the fly swatter and PAK! The irritation rises when we fail to kill the unwanted guest.
     However, our intelligent God creates everything uniquely, including this super big-eyed fly. Every time it lands on anything where it could feel relaxed, it would rub its hind legs above its wings, under its wings, and even rub its wings. How would they do that I wonder. Some say flies clean itself by doing this ceremony. But does fly really cleanse itself when it rubs not all of its feet? Fly also has the attitude of flying from one place to another in less than a second. Does it not tire itself?
     Whatever, depending on my mood, sometimes I am fascinated just gazing with these tiny creature. Why, it has some abilities I could not do, like flying. Besides, flies are confident! No matter how much they know of your irritation for their presence, they do not retaliate by being irritated with you and fly away from your presence. They just stay on as if testing your patience. Ah, I guess, this is one of their purposes in life: to stretch out our patience. If we just consider this, they are not much irritating then.   
     Get Happy!

The Water In My Comfort Room

     Today I'm sharing a little bit of my privacy.
     Have you ever find comfort in being inside the comfort room? I guess, all of us do. Well then, let me ask you this question, "having been alone in this room of unstoppable desires, have you noticed any life form, except of course for some stray lizards, mosquitoes or even cockroaches?" It was only yesterday that I did. I noticed the freshly  flowing water from the faucet. Of course, it is considered as a life form since it contains minerals needed by our bodies to keep us healthy.
     Anyways, I just thought, what if water has feelings? What if water has the right to choose from where it would flow? If this would be the case, all of it would like to flow to the oceans or rivers; others with more nobler thoughts would choose to water the gardens, offer drinks to animals, or go to bathrooms to give us cool baths. But would there be any part of it who would choose to flow to the comfort room, wash our excrement and clean our butts? I doubt if there would be. Perhaps, if they could have feelings, the moment we splash it onto our butts to clean it, it would shout, "Oh no! No! No! Yak!" Spending our time inside a comfort room would be uncomfortable then.  
     As I gazed at the flowing water yesterday with all of its freshness, offering all it could give, it seemed to tell me, "here I am at your service, use me as you wish." To feel it cleansing me after a thorough comfort room activity was so soothing. And I am so thankful for the water that is deprived of feelings like man. God really has purpose for every creations, especially for some without feelings.

Flow

     Sometimes we just have to flow with the rhythm of life. We may have our own schedules and plans to attain the highest and noblest goals we have ever imagined, yet sometimes we just have to give up with these ideals and flow with the beauty of life that comes naturally and spontaneously.
      I don't believe we were born incompletely. I believe we were born with all the good things that were already inherent within us; only that as we grew, we forgot all these things, having our attention focused much with what was being taught to us. Thus we forgot our own unique beauty. Then, when we were old enough to know that something was wrong with us, came these more awakened people teaching us what to do to be who we want to be. In part they were right. However, too much attention with their words led us to forget that we, too, have what they have. We just forgot how. Then, we came to believe their way is the only way, thus their words we must follow.
     But the beauty in everything comes with our own discovery, our own way of discovery. No matter how much we broadcast and describe the beauty that we see, no one would ever appreciate it more than we do, because only us can see beautiful things with our own eyes. Only us; we could not do it for others; others could not do it for us. Sure, we need mentors - but only to inspire us, not to enlighten us, for in truth they could not.
     While we flow with people who promised to help open our eyes discover our capacities and realize our potentialities, we must not forget first and foremost to flow with life and nature. It has more answers to our questions if we but listen to it. And let us never ever forget that we are part of this rhythm of life.  

After The Storm

     After the storm we are still left quite...unable to move...do not know where and how to start life again. When we look around, everything's fine. Everybody goes out with their business, and the world's okay. Why, it is our own storm we are suffering, concealed from anyone around. Though there may be one or two who know, yet it's our own storm not theirs. They could only sympathized, and it ends there.
     Sometimes, we even question our own sanity. Are we okay? Are we functioning well? Why the lapse in attitude? No one could answer except ourselves. We know how we did our best, yet there come a point when we reach our limitations. No matter how much we try to do more because it is expected from us, there is that tired soul within unable to respond, unable to function well, thus the collapse. And after the unwanted burst follows the guilt; so many questions why, why was I unable to contain myself. We are afraid to ask others, fearing they make us feel guilty the more for showing our worst selves. Then we feel alone, so alone as if nobody cares us except ourselves. We just hold on with life because we are supposed to. We are not supposed to give up. We are supposed to get up, move on as if nothing happens. If we are successful in doing that, another chapter in our lives open. And again we would start from the very beginning, be the persons we would like ourselves to be, as well as the persons others expected us to be. If we might fail again, start again...and again...and again...  
     Ahhhhh, life...   

One Particular Season

"Life, like any other exciting story, is bound to have painful and scary parts, boring and depressing parts, but it's a brilliant story, and it's up to us how it will turn out in the end." ~ Bo Lozoff 

".....I do not do the things I want to do; yet I do the things I do not want to do...."
No matter how I try to make things good and to make myself  the good person I want, I still slip. Yeah it's part of being human. I may not like it, but I have to accept it. What could I expect from me when I am just a human being? How could I expect myself to be perfect when perfection is not in my system? There is no way I could fool myself and God. I am imperfect and could never be, that I may seek God always in my imperfection. For if I am already perfect why would I need God when I do not need anything? God made me imperfect because He needs me to need Him. And like any other story, I am now in pain, in deep sorrow. But this is not the end. This is just for now. Tomorrow when I wake up, God will hold my hand and lead me to a brand new day.   

Conception

MSN. encarta defines conception as something conceived in mind; conceiving of young: the fertilization of an egg by a sperm at the beginning of pregnancy. While I define it as something created within and in due time is given out or comes out through birth. What is being conceived within is being nourished and nurtured to make it healthy and be developed.
Every person is being conceived first and given birth in due time. Adam was conceived by God and given birth in a different process in the story of creation. Jesus Christ was conceived by the Holy Spirit through the Blessed Virgin Mary. We should be thankful for in all these conceptions.
However, there are conceptions that are dangerous to man if he is unaware-the conceptions of the mind. All human beings are capable of these conceptions in the mind. Evil intent was first conceived in the mind and given birth through action. Those who conceived greed give birth to it and ended up killing bothers ans sisters, or anyone who comes his way in filling up this greed. Those who conceived selfish passions and desires give birth to it and ended up immoral and full of vices. For anything that is conceived by the mind will come to its maturity and be given birth.
If we were to live a blameless life and a holy life, we must be aware of what we allow our minds to conceive, because whatever it is, in due time it would seek its own birth. This is our nature; we are always conceiving and giving birth.If we want to give birth to love, we have to conceive it first. If we want to give birth to peace, we have to conceive it first. Our mind is always conceiving, thus we must select ..."whatever is true, honest, honorable, of good repute..." that we be mothers and fathers of good conception.
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 "I wish you forgiveness, both the power to forgive and the wisdom and strength to seek forgiveness. One of the most powerful forces in the world, forgiveness frees us from anger, resentment, and the lack of peace that results from these emotions." ~ Living Life Fully

   

The Dark Sky

As I look up at the dark sky,
With the moon that so brightly shines,
I feel a tinge of missingness,
From the place where I came.
The space that separates us in between,
Seems to speak: come home, come home.
This feeling of familiarity and homesickness,
To the darkness of the sky and its vastness,
Gives me hope and strength-
That yes, I am only temporary in this world;
That whatever comfort this world can offer to anyone,
Is incomparable to the comfort and oneness,
That God can offer to those who gently go back to Him.
As I gaze up,
It seems to be purely nothingness above,
But it is in that nothingness,
That I feel the oneness with God.
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"Most of us live in an era of unprecedented possibilities and potential, and one factor that can help to determine our success is our level of gratitude. Those who proceed through life without recognizing the blessings that have been bestowed upon them through effort not of their own live empty lives, always wondering why their own efforts do not result in happiness or fulfillment, while those who feel gratitude for the sunsets, the cool breezes, the time spent with friends, the smiles and laughter of children, the kind words of others, the touches of rain and of sun--these are the people that see life as an on-going procession of miracles that we truly are blessed to be able to experience." ~ Living Life Fully

Reflection: Who Are You?

     Who are you? You are the reflection of everything around you and before you. You are the reflection of others who are with you always. You are the reflection of the sunrise and the sunset when it's beauty you allow to rest in your soul. You are the reflection of the love you received. You are the reflection of the rhythm of life. You are the reflection of the things you are always exposed to. You are the reflection of your environment. You are the reflection of your past, your present and your future. You are not the reflection of who you want to be; you are the reflection of what you do. Therefore, if you want to have a good reflection, expose yourself to good environment, good people, and good things. This goodness in everything depends on your belief of what these good things are. The easiest way to find your path in this goodness of reflection is to expose yourself to God, for He is the reflection of everything good and is able to give you the most beautiful reflection of all.

"I wish you a thankful heart, one that sees the importance of each aspect of your life and that doesn't take the important things for granted, without the appreciation for the beauty and the harmony of our lives. May you always find the reasons for which thankfulness is appropriate, and be able to voice your gratitude to others, to yourself, to your God, for it is only with gratitude that we can open the many doors of life that are available to us, the door that lay closed to those who live life without gratitude." ~ Living Life Fully

I Love You

I love you.
I love you not because you are you.
I love you because you are me.
When I love you, I do not give you a part of me.
When I love you, I expand me.
When I hurt you, I hurt me.
When I love you, I love me.
When I love you I do not ask you to love me back,
Because by loving you, I am already loving me.
For I could not give you what I lack in me.
I love you not because you are a son or daughter of God.
But I love you because I am a daughter of God.
For what I am is what you are too.
However, I could not love me without you,
For I could only love me by loving you.
I love you....

"I wish you a sense of gratitude, thankfulness for all that you've been blessed with in this life, all the things that you have, all the people you know, the food that you eat, the possibilities that you have." ~ Living Life Fully

The Missing Ingredient

     To love God's people is one of my sacrosanct goals because I believe this to be one of my duties as a Christian. I pray for this daily. But most of the time I caught myself disliking people to the point of allowing them to make me feel miserable. I wonder then, why these very people whom I vowed to love, are the ones preventing me from loving them? 
     Yesterday the answer to my question was laid before me. It was from the blog post of Mary Jaksch of Goodlife Zen where she cited the three pillars of goodness, which are: reverence for life, wisdom, and kindness. Reverence for life struck me hard. My mind went silent for a few minutes. A bell rang in my ear. My heart of hearts told me, "this is what we missed." Yeah, all along in my journey I forgot to revere God's people.
     I may be surrounded with not so perfect people, but this does not give me the right to focus on their shortcomings. If I were to love them, I should do the following things: accept the fact that these people could never be perfect just as I am, believe that despite the imperfect surface, deep inside lies the goodness and greatness of these people, and most of all, revere the life in them. For in revering them, I revere not only them, but also the One who gives them life as well as my life too. Finally, to love them would be much easier.

"I wish you the peace that passes all understanding, the peace that comes from a faith in something much greater than ourselves, a God who is loving and kind and gentle. Millions of people have come across this peace, from the monks who spend day after day in prayer to the  people who have passed through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous in order to clean up their lives and stop allowing their lack of inner peace to destroy them. A lack of peace in our lives can be one of the most destructive forces in the world, and I hope that you never feel the loss of peace in your life." ~ Living Life Fully

Power

We are dealing with powers and energies in this world unconsciously. He who is aware knows how to use these powers and energies for the good of mankind.

"I wish you the ability to access your peacefulness even in the most trying of situations, so that the trials of life will not overwhelm you with their complexities and complications. May the peace within you always be a source of comfort and security, always there to help you maintain a healthy perspective on life. Many people go through their entire lives never looking for peace, and thus never feeling it inside of themselves, but I hope that you're able not only to search it out, but to find it and allow it to be a part of yourself."   Living Life Fully 

My Real Worth

     Finding happiness depends on what a person is, what he wants himself to be and what his values and beliefs are.
     My quest for happiness focuses on my spirituality - my profound belief in God. In Him I find an understanding that I did not find in some other areas which I once considered I could gather wisdom from.
     Like for example, I once believed in order to find myself worthy I have to prove this worth by achieving something great. But no. God touches my heart and lets me know I do not have to do anything to prove my worth. I am already a worthy person - worth dying for by His Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross. Here I find my true worth.
     The very good thing is, I don't have to do anything. This lifts the burden and pressure off my shoulder. Of course, This does not mean I am free to do what I considered not good. This means I have the freedom to do everything good - not to feel worthy but to express God's goodness. It is not I doing the good thing; it is God's goodness flowing through me. It is where my will and God's will become one; it is the letting go and the letting it be; it is the creature submitting to its creator. Then and only then happiness and tranquility like a river flow.

"I wish you peace--peace of mind and peace of heart that will allow you to experience life with an equanimity that others simply do not know, an inner peace that others will see and feel, and that will help them to find their own peace on their own terms."  Living Life Fully

Happiness

  
     Happiness is not a goal.
     It is a reward that comes with achieving a goal.
     Therefore, strive not to be happy;
     Strive rather to live life fully.
     For when you do, happiness comes abundantly,
     Emanating within you and touching those you meet.

"I wish you the ability to enjoy truly the company  of those who are dear to you. May your relationships be deep and fulfilling, and may you enjoy fully each moment that you are able to share with them. May you be able to share your intimate and important thoughts and feelings --your faith, your doubts, your joys, your difficulties, your accomplishments and achievements, your failures and your discouragement. Sharing these aspects of ourselves allows us to be fulfilled and complete; allowing others to share these parts of themselves allows them to be fulfilled and complete."  Living Life Fully

Lights

     We are all lights. We are lights enclosed in what we call human bodies. Our lights are able to recognize other people's lights. When we fail to see the light in someone, it does not mean he has lost his light; it means we forget to keep our light shining. For when we keep our lights shining, others would remember to keep their light shining which they have so long forgotten.

"I wish you the ability to discern, the ability to recognize your true friends and to see the differences between them and those people who only pretend to be friends. May you develop the supremacy necessary to deal with all people fairly and justly, no matter their relationship to you, for in this way you will maintain your peace of mind and others will find their dealings with you to be pleasant and fulfilling."    Living Life Fully

Some Things Are Worth Giving Up

     I once believe I have to do great, really great things in order to earn respect from people and be considered one important soul. But just recently I realize I could not please the millions of people in my generation. All because each one has his own preferences and operates life almost always through these preferences. There are just people who love only their flock. Unless you talk, act, and think like them could you be accepted as a person. The folly of me kept on convincing myself that I should do something to become friends with these people. Yet, no matter how much I tried, the effort did not pay off.

     Having arrived to this realization, I become free. Yeah, I have no obligation whatsoever to please these people. The most Godly way I could do is accept them as they are and accept the fact that they could not please me too. There is no attachment. We are all free. If they despise me for being different from them, I'll toss the idea aside. It is not worth the bother. I am free. Life goes on.

"I wish you friends and friendship, the ability to be a friend, and the openness to allow others to be your friends. It isn't always easy to open ourselves up and allow others to see our needs and our faults, but this journey of life on which we all find ourselves is much more fulfilling when we don't try to travel every path alone. Making and keeping friends is not always an easy task, but it's one that's well worth the trouble and the risk."   Living Life Fully

 

I Will Greet This Day With Love In My Heart

     I am so grateful to Living Life Fully for helping me remember the good "things" I already forgot. As you can see, I started this year with resolutions hoping I would become a much better person at the end of the year. I followed programs and divided my goals in a daily achievement basis. I even prayed that God would lead the right people into my life. Eventually He did. And much more than that someone had already been with me in my journey, only that I completely forgot everything about this man.

     On Friday I read the weekly ezine from Living Life Fully. There they featured a part of Og Mandino's book The Greatest Salesman In The World. I have not yet bought this book. But the one entitled The Greatest Secret In The World had I purchased five years ago. It is a book where you have to follow the scrolls and read on a daily basis in order to achieve self development. I did follow it but only for two months because I was in an unhealthy relationship during that time. Becoming healed and yet on the process of pain could never be done simultaneously. It took me some time to get over with that relationship. When I was on my feet again I was busy with family life that I completely forgot this book. I even did not remember it when I made the resolution of improving myself. When I read a part of it in the ezine I immediately remembered due to the familiarity of the words.. I really am so grateful. For the next forty-five weeks Og Mandino would be with me once again in this journey. This time I assure it is worth the money I paid for it.

     From this day onwards, I will greet the day with love in my heart!

     "I wish you to develop the light that is within you, to strengthen your spiritual faith, to help your faith in yourself to grow and thrive. You have the gift of self- sufficiency and the possibility of growing into a person who is strong and able. But may you not grow too strong, though, so that you reject the help and love and  caring of others who wish to be there for you. Balance your strength with your needs and the need of others to be helpful and to show their caring."

                                                                         Living Life Fully

I Wish You

"I wish you the power of a perspective that allows you to see the beauty of the darkness, no matter how threatening your current situation, or how uneasy you may feel. There always is light for us to access, whether it be the light of God, or the light of a close friend, or even the light within ourselves that is the power and the strength with which we've all been blessed with one extent or another."

                                                                                                                         -Living Life Fully

I Wish You

     I want to share this poem I read from Live Life Fully entitled I Wish You.This is a ten-page journey and I will share one stanza daily.  Here it is:

     I wish you light in your darkest hours. When life seems to be confusing or empty, and when your path seems to be hidden in the shadows of pain, doubt, despair or unrest,may you find the light inside of you that will help you to see things as they really are, for every night comes to an end, every storm runs its course, and light and peace always return to us.

A Beautiful Day

     It's a beautiful day! It's a special day. It's a day of moving forward. It's a day of celebrating life. I make the most of today!

     Happy living!

If It Were Your Last Day, What Would You Do?

  
      If it were your last day, what would you do?

     The question above was repeatedly asked by the radio Deejay on Sunday. This question even is common in question and answer portion in beauty pageants. This made me think how weird this people are, asking such question that is so normal on everyday living. Don't they know that everyday we live is our last? Everyday, we are given the chance to live our lives the best way we want it. Why do we wait for the day when someone would tell us that we would never be alive the next day so we have to do all we want to do this last day that we have? So very absurd thinking. And when others answer this question with all confidence and nobility on how they would live their last day, we would be taken with awe and says, "wow! what a very noble person." Hello! If you believe it were your last day, then do right this very moment the things you want and love to do.

     Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Let me just echo this words from the mystics. What is wrong with us people is that we tend to live in wishful thinking. We love others to believe we have noble plans. The question is, when? When would we do such noble acts? The best answers of the people to the question above are: share to the poor, spend the day with their loved ones, spend their money, go take a vacation to some exotic place, be good, be kind...etc. Beautiful answers, yet nonsense. It would only makes sense if they would act on it today and onwards. If this is going to be so, what a wonderful world we would have.

     On my part, there is no need for me to give the answer to you. I am living my life daily the way I want it. If it is not perfect or remarkable, all because my life is a journey, a process of becoming. Day by day, I am moving an inch to the pedestal I want to put myself to. My life is in God's hands. And if God favors me with a longer one, then it would delight Him and me to see in the end the completion of a worthwhile journey He blessed me with.

     Happy living!     
   

Presence Of Mind

     Presence of mind just means to be present in mind and body wherever you are and whatever you do. However, this is not always happening at all. Due to the busyness of our own businesses and to the many things that we need to attain to, simply being present is impossible. This is what other spiritual seekers refer as living life half dead.  We go on with our daily routine not as living people but as machines. We do things differently from what we are thinking. Consequently, without us being aware of, it will have devastating effects on our lives either in the long term or in the short term.

     The other day this reality of being not present awaken me from my deep slumber. As usual I was going through my daily routine of office work. I did not know this unmindfulness of the present would bounce back to me. It was when I made my daily report that I noticed something was wrong with the figures I worked on. This mattered much especially when we were dealing with money matters. The devastating effect of my failure was I got from my own pocket the shortage incurred due to my unmindfulness. I couldn't believe how it happened for I was doing my work for years now. However, I could not recall, even a tiny bit of it, where did I went wrong with my work that day. But it happened already, nothing I can do to bring the events back. The most important thing was, on that day, I relearned the value of the presence of mind.    

It's A Party!

     Preparing for my son's third birthday party on March 15 kept me busy. Thus I have been away for quite awhile. Honestly, my son's two previous birthdays weren't that much special and had not much invited guests. This time we did prepare although it was not that super special. The truth is, I just come to the realization that preparing parties especially birthdays is not for the sake of showing off or leveling up with the Joneses. It is our opportunity of sharing something to the world especially with friends and relatives.

     I had been brought up in a conservative family where birthdays were just family affairs. If ever we had visitors it were only few of our neighbors. Thus it was my belief that birthdays weren't that important to spend much money with. However, when I had my own family and began to be invited to birthday parties it was then I realized how important that is. It is our lone opportunity to be grateful to the universe that we are given this life. And by showing that gratefulness we share it with relatives and friends.

    Thus I now consider birthdays to be part of our family's yearly expenses. Yes, in our culture we spend much in it if we truly prepare for it. But God will always provide. The happiness and fulfillment we get from hosting parties is worth more than the money we spend. I admit to be a frugal one, but when spending means I am sharing something to the world and if it is my own way of showing gratefulness then it's worth the money and the effort. Moreover, if it is one way of making my loved one happy and to feel special then no question about it.

     Happy living!         

     

When You Have To Do It Even If You Hate It

     "I hate to do it, but I have to do it." These were the words that kept on echoing in my mind right after I made the decision. There are just situations in which you have to make a decision regardless of whether you will be completely understood or downright judged. Having made a pledge to God to love His people and correct them gently, made it hard for me to do my work. My line of work requires to be firm with people. For, if I have to remain lenient with them and their capricious, they would abuse the regulations set by our company, which would result in making me an ineffective employee. Yes, negotiation and an acceptable excuse are the very first thing to do. But when people have crossed the thin line between kindness and abuse, we have to do the right thing even if it means hurting their pride and feelings.

     The truth is, there are many people who are so undisciplined in their own lives that they go about meeting with people believing they can influence people with their own lies. These are the people whom I act strictly with. When they need to hear the truth, I give it to them. It is sort of wham! slapping them on the face and saying, "wake up thou from thy sleep!"

     And, yes, these are the people I pledged to love and cherish. In the sense of the word they are not my family. But in the law of the universe, they are my family. I know I just did the right thing, waking them up. But I felt a little tinge of guilt for slapping them the truth. However if I am to do it again, I choose to do it again. For it is better for me to suffer the pangs of guilt than allowing these people to go with their lives walking in their sleep. Sometimes they need a little bang, bang in the head that they may ask themselves, "hey what is happening?"

     Actually, I am saying these through my own personal experience. It really hurts when people slap you left and right with the truth of the matter. But it was when I hurt the most that I learned the most. That is why I am not so much afraid to correct someone, as long as I know it would benefit them more if they just but listen to their voice within and without.   

     As to the people whom I actually bang, bang with the truth I offered them to God already. And then I let go.

     

In Sickness And In Health

     I have to admit something. While I was in my teens I thought having a serious sickness or disease is advantageous because it would invoke much sympathy and empathy from the people around you and from those who would hear your state. Yes, I was that hypochondriac during those times. I love it when I get sick. Whenever I have a headache, I believe I already have brain cancer. Whenever I am tired or stressed I thought I'm going to suffer a heart attack. Whenever I have a fever I thought I am dying.

     But then, until now I am still alive. Perhaps that belief  sprang from the need for attention, especially from my parents. They said middle born children mostly suffer from the lack of attention. I happened to be the second from the eldest. Maybe that explained it.

    Now that I am literally mature in age, I hate and worry diseases. Just yesterday I suffered a very bad headache. I was afraid what was happening with my body. I would not want to die yet. Not now that my son is barely three years of age; most especially I have still many good things to do and be. I just discovered the beauty of life; I just created my goals and the strategies to achieve them. I have not yet lived my life fully. If ever I will go I do not have enough of myself to leave - have not shared my life that much to others. Oh, those thoughts.

     Anyway, after work and after I have taken a medicine in an hour, the pain left me. Perhaps something in my body just went wrong but not that serious. The least thing I could have now is to be sick. As much as possible I tried everything to stay away from getting sick. I may not be able to do everything to stay away from it, but I now have a firm belief that God is healing me, everything in me, and that He would not let me go if it is not yet my time to go. Yes, God already is healing me.    

    

From Negative 10 To Positive 10

     When we talk of growth it can either be achieved instantly or gradually. Some believed we can grow that easily; from where we are to where we want to be. But most said it could be done gradually and deliberately. I believed in the latter for it is my own experience. Like a seed that is being planted, personal growth takes time and much care.

     In my experience, I grow 50%; and sometimes backslides 10%. Yes, it would be nice if I were just a seed that only grows but never backslides. Yet, I am human with established habits and flow of thoughts that I have been accustomed to. For many years I have lived with this habits and kind of thinking. Thus, it is not much easier to leap from here to there; or else I'll become mad. I am just grateful for the countless positive people in the web who put the time and effort to share their positivity with the world, for from them I gathered much hope and inspiration. I would not mention them for the time being because they are many to mention. Besides, there are people in the web whose words I just run across once but whose impact remains with me and serves as tool for my growth. They are those people who are able to leap from negative 10 to positive 10 in their own time.

     Growth just requires patience with oneself especially when one backslides. But backsliding does not conclude the race is over and the player is weak. It just means there is still much more to learn and work for. As what I said in my previous post it is not so much with the goal, but it is much with the ways we do in achieving the goal. It is more on how we do those things not what we have done that matters most to God.

    And I love it. For me, everyday I am growing. I am no longer counting how much; for there are days that I just do not. In these days I just flow with what I have at the moment. And with this I still can say, life is beautiful. 

     

Expand. Expand. Expand

     When we think of growth, what comes into mind is expansion. And when we plan to grow our selves in all aspects, it means we have to expand our selves in all areas: mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, financially  and spiritually.Honestly, in some areas I am doing well. But there is one area that I am struggling with so hard. It is the social aspect. Growing up I was not that sociable since I was brought up conservatively. We weren't allowed to play with other kids. In high school I was not even allowed to go out with my friends. So I developed that kind of characteristic which is shy and a little aloof with people.  Now that I am working I am constantly expose to people. But only within the circle of my comfort zone. At least I am able to get along well with others.

     However, when you dream of becoming successful in life you have to work the extra mile needed for the fulfillment of your dreams. I was informed, one of the ways of becoming successful is to be able to have large network of friends. Wow. I have friends but only those casual acquaintances. I never thought once that having lots of friends and creating good relationships with others is a big advantage of becoming successful. I am convince of this now. And I am working sooooo hard on this.   

     This is what makes life beautiful. With faith I am able to expand what I believe I can expand.

     He who put this Spirit within me is faithful enough to let this Spirit express itself through me.

        

When Others Behave The Way They Do

You're day went out quite right as how you intended it to be. The people you were always around with were the same funny and entertaining ones as they always were. And if some of their moods were sometimes irritating, you never mind because you knew that was a characteristic of them, what made them unique. You were about to call it a day. When suddenly in an office not yours someone came carrying herself proudly looking at you as if you were from outer space. From the way she gazed, you sense the sense of insecurity she was carrying deep inside, and reflected it outside by acting as if she were superior to you. You tried to make friendly movements which she ignored. This affected you. You felt a tinge of irritation creeping down within. So you immediately  finished your business in that office and went out. Then outside you saw her husband waiting for her, complaining and grunting loudly, calling for her, for she was inside too long; an attitude you would not want your husband to treat you with. You slowly got it and you said, that's why.

Did this happen to you? It did to me, yesterday. I inquired things about that lady. I was informed she just came from the U.S. Oh, would that make any difference? Would her actions be favorable for her? Would it matter whether she was above or below us? I was just so glad I was in this self-development business; for I knew where she stood and where I stood. And from the way her husband treated her, it was no wonder she had a bit of insecurity.

Anyway, people's actions no longer matter to me that much now. For if people behave the way they do, it is not because of who I am, it is because of who they are; how they see themselves and what their experiences are. It has been my prayer that God would make me loving to his children good and not so good alike. But since I am new to this undertaking, I have not yet matured fully. But at least I am able now to identify the sin from the sinner though my initial reaction would be somewhat judgmental. At least I have grown a little. This is a very big thing to me now.      

A Brand New Day

The idea of getting up in the morning with the belief that this day contributes something to the attainment of my goals, makes me greet each day with a smile and a hope that it is going to be a great day ahead. It would not be a big day wherein everything could be achieved on this day alone; yet a day wherein there is little improvement and achievement. I have already given up the thought of doing great just for one day because I have waited and planned for this day to happen, yet it never did. If my failures and frustrations were formed not only in a day, then the attainment of my goals and dreams could be created not only in a day but by the days I choose to create them day by day.
With the lessons I learned from the past, most especially from the failures, everyday is full of excitement, of what can I do better and better. It is true that dwelling on the setbacks and what went wrong could only make the matters worse. But by reversing the way of thinking focusing only on the positive possibilities, the realization of goals and dreams is at hand.        

Life Is Fair

My life started out as good. But as I was growing up, some things did not turn out quite right. Not that it was meant to be but that was just how it was because most people I was around with were not perfect. They just did their best as they knew how. I am not blaming my parents or my teachers or whomever I met when I was growing up. They are good people and I salute them for I would not be what I am now if not for them.
There are just many things in me that need to be improved and developed. If I were not what I am supposed to be at the stage of my life now that would be my own thing to do. My turn. Life is meant to be learned and improved. I am so glad I am giving this urgings of the spirit not to be content with what I have and not to rest on my laurels for the rest of my life.
I admit I have many shortcomings and weaknesses. As in many. It is normal for anyone to have these things for we are only humans. Yet, what I have were not normal because it became what they were due to events beyond the comprehension of young age. Now as I am given the reign to lead myself wherever I want to go, I choose the better part. I improve in me what needs to be improved, and develop what needs to be developed. Thus my life is a series of experiments; of trying and failing; of failing and standing up.
And this is the very good thing with life - no matter where we start or how we start early on, we always have the choice to end up well and good. Life is fair after all. 

The Crossing

For some, the distance between having goals and achieving them might not be so far; especially when certain persons have been doing it before. As for me it is not that easy. It is as if there is a deep abyss between my goals and its attainment. When  I try to leap from here(my goals) to there(its attainment), it is as if I am being magnetized slowly by this deep abyss and deliberately swallowed by it. Not that easy so to speak.

I was told everything is in the mind. It all starts with your faith and with a deep belief and conviction  in yourself. Well, it may be as easy as it sounds. But honestly to me, it is a whole different kind of worlds. The crossing takes all my energy, effort and determination. I am always tempted to give up; not because I lack the capability but because I was not used to it. It is breaking the old habit and beliefs so deeply planted in the mind that makes the crossing so difficult. I pray ten years from now I'll be much, much better than now. 

Everything depends on this crossing...

When The Going Gets Tough

"No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve in quality as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing it is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them." ---Allan Watts

The lizard brain according to Seth Godin is the resistance within the mind. It exposes itself when we already muster all our strength and be prepared for the big leap in achieving our goals. It then shouts to make us stop and think twice whether we continue or not. Sometimes it may even succeed in preventing us altogether.
I guess, this is what happened to me. When I look at the mirror in the morning the lizard is there. When I open my door the lizard is there. When I am in front of the monitor the lizard is there. I believe these are the unrecognized fears within me. And I now slowly feel the toughness of this game called life. It is so beautiful to dream. It is so fulfilling to imagine the attainment of my goals.
But as Allan Watts says, the point is not in the finale. The point is in living with it moment by moment. Ah, living.

 

A Question Worth Pondering

What is the point of this?

I have my goals. I was informed we must have goals in life.
I created strategies for the achievement of my goals. I was informed strategies are the ways I must do in order to achieve my goals.
But then, if I follow my strategies; if I achieve my goals, short term and long term, what then? I mean is this what life is all about?; what living is all about? They say, it is not the goals that make who you are, it is what you become while achieving your goals. Does this mean if I follow my goals and act word by word my strategies, my life and myself is predictable? It seems boring, as I see it. Yeah, there would be success in the end, because this is how I define my success: by achieving the goals I have set for myself. And if I will be successful in achieving my goals, what then? Have I left a well-lived life when I'm gone? Perhaps to others who did not live my life as I live it. But to me? I guess, there is more to life than goals and the like.

I could not yet understand the point of it all. Anyway, life could never be understood. Maybe it is, to some who reach the point of living. I pray someday I would.  

My quote of the week

I strive to be who I am, not who others are.

Charging Forward

"Don't leave your life up to chance. Grab the reigns of your life, and charge gallantly in the direction of your grandest vision." Darren Hardy

Well put by Darren. Presently I am one of Darren Hardy's email recipient of his new year program Designing The Best Ten Years Of Your Life, which is an eight-week installment for free. Here, he gives tips and worksheets on how to point out and clarify our goals and the ways to achieve them. This greatly help me in clarifying my dreams and following the path where God wants me to trod. 

Ten years ago I knew what I wanted to do and what I wanted to become. Yet that ten years swiftly passed and I am still the same dreamer I used to be. Because I just dreamed for the wrong reasons. Most of all I was yet innocent of how life really goes. I thought when you dream, you just watch at the stars above and keep on dreaming until a fairy godmother appears before your unbelieving eyes wagging her magic wand and asks you what do you want. You excitedly tell her your wishes. Then she raises her magic wand and wham! your dream materializes. I was this naive. I have never grown since I read Cinderella and Snow White.  

At least in those ten years I learned what life was not. When I finally said yes to my calling and vowed unto myself to do and act to become the person I so deeply and heartily want, things became clearer. God then sent people to guide me along the way. And Darren Hardy was one of them.

I know and believe deeply in my heart that ten years from now you will celebrate with me for a job well done.

Live Happy!

Zel

NEVER GIVING UP ON ME

The new year has started. What did I do?
As I look at my life I realized it is not yet the kind of life I want; not because I dreaded it but because I am not yet fully defined by the things I did. I believe I am the things that I do for I would not do the things that I am not. Hence, I am not happy and does not yet feel fulfilled with what I have done with my life. This means I yet have to know who I am and what is it that can make me me. The one thing to start this process is to have a New Year's resolution. And I did.
I had a long list of New Year's resolution. There is no need for me to enumerate those things here because it concerns not other people but only to me. But if I'll be successful enough in following those resolutions I would not be so much a pain in the neck of those who are around me.
This is the first time in my history to make a New Year's resolution. Back in college when we were given the assignment to make a New Year's resolution I did not make the list, justifying everyday is a resolution. However, more than ten years had passed and I am not yet living my ideal life. What happened? Perhaps something is wrong somewhere. And it is. I had no clear definition of how my life should look like and most of all I had not made peace with myself as to what I want with life and what could I possibly give back to it.
Now as things are slowly becoming clear I believe it is not too late for me to live the kind of life I dream of. The very first step of doing this is to die unto myself; that is to unlearn the things that have nothing to do with me and relearn the values that I want to stand for which would lead me to realizing and expressing myself fully.
I have not yet made a significant history. For this, people may not notice me yet or consider me and look at me based on my history, what I did in my past. Well, it would be okay because this is how life goes. The only thing that matters so much to me now is how I see myself, whether I continue to look at me the way I used to be in the past or put to work the change and improvement that I so long to happen to me. 
I may have hurt others especially my loved ones or have not cared enough, yet that was the best I knew of. That was the me in my brokenness, the me that I thought the "best" that I could be. Now I am grateful for knowing that there could be the "best" me where I could be me without hurting others and may share this "best" me to others lovingly. I long to do that to you. I believe it will for I am not giving up on me.