So many thoughts concern me the previous month. Some are the desire for advancement financially and spiritually. Financially is a must in order to thrive physically; yet spiritually is much more important especially now that we are bombarded with the ideas and possibilities of the world's end by 2012. Of course, I do not believe it one hundred percent to happen exactly in that year but I do believe it will. Thus I looked at my life and asked myself if I were ready for that inevitable event.
But then, should I worry for things that could go out of my control? No, I guess not. The best thing that I could do is strengthen my belief, brace myself for whatever is to come; whether I witness the event as it takes place or my death would come first before it does.
When I think of my own death, only one thing I know - I want to live the best life; I want to strive to be the best as I live. Yet the best things that I know could not be the best because my mind and understanding are limited. What seems to be the best for me may not be the best for God. I believe the best is only with God. With these in mind I surrendered everything to God's hands - everything that I have: my life, my loved ones, anything I own.
This may seem letting go, well, it probably is. But it is more than that. I want a total surrender that is beyond words to explain. I am tired of words. I am fed up with words. I know I could explain through words, yet, I don't want everything to end in words. I don't want words to freeze everything.
As of the moment this is all what I could say. It may seem boring but this is how I grasp the truth as of the moment.