Saturday, March 6, 2010

Life Is Fair

My life started out as good. But as I was growing up, some things did not turn out quite right. Not that it was meant to be but that was just how it was because most people I was around with were not perfect. They just did their best as they knew how. I am not blaming my parents or my teachers or whomever I met when I was growing up. They are good people and I salute them for I would not be what I am now if not for them.
There are just many things in me that need to be improved and developed. If I were not what I am supposed to be at the stage of my life now that would be my own thing to do. My turn. Life is meant to be learned and improved. I am so glad I am giving this urgings of the spirit not to be content with what I have and not to rest on my laurels for the rest of my life.
I admit I have many shortcomings and weaknesses. As in many. It is normal for anyone to have these things for we are only humans. Yet, what I have were not normal because it became what they were due to events beyond the comprehension of young age. Now as I am given the reign to lead myself wherever I want to go, I choose the better part. I improve in me what needs to be improved, and develop what needs to be developed. Thus my life is a series of experiments; of trying and failing; of failing and standing up.
And this is the very good thing with life - no matter where we start or how we start early on, we always have the choice to end up well and good. Life is fair after all. 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Crossing

For some, the distance between having goals and achieving them might not be so far; especially when certain persons have been doing it before. As for me it is not that easy. It is as if there is a deep abyss between my goals and its attainment. When  I try to leap from here(my goals) to there(its attainment), it is as if I am being magnetized slowly by this deep abyss and deliberately swallowed by it. Not that easy so to speak.
I was told everything is in the mind. It all starts with your faith and with a deep belief and conviction  in yourself. Well, it may be as easy as it sounds. But honestly to me, it is a whole different kind of worlds. The crossing takes all my energy, effort and determination. I am always tempted to give up; not because I lack the capability but because I was not used to it. It is breaking the old habit and beliefs so deeply planted in the mind that makes the crossing so difficult. I pray ten years from now I'll be much, much better than now. 
Everything depends on this crossing...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

When The Going Gets Tough

"No one imagines that a symphony is supposed to improve in quality as it goes along, or that the whole object of playing it is to reach the finale. The point of music is discovered in every moment of playing and listening to it. It is the same, I feel, with the greater part of our lives, and if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them." ---Allan Watts

The lizard brain according to Seth Godin is the resistance within the mind. It exposes itself when we already muster all our strength and be prepared for the big leap in achieving our goals. It then shouts to make us stop and think twice whether we continue or not. Sometimes it may even succeed in preventing us altogether.
I guess, this is what happened to me. When I look at the mirror in the morning the lizard is there. When I open my door the lizard is there. When I am in front of the monitor the lizard is there. I believe these are the unrecognized fears within me. And I now slowly feel the toughness of this game called life. It is so beautiful to dream. It is so fulfilling to imagine the attainment of my goals.
But as Allan Watts says, the point is not in the finale. The point is in living with it moment by moment. Ah, living.


Monday, March 1, 2010

A Question Worth Pondering

What is the point of this?

I have my goals. I was informed we must have goals in life.
I created strategies for the achievement of my goals. I was informed strategies are the ways I must do in order to achieve my goals.
But then, if I follow my strategies; if I achieve my goals, short term and long term, what then? I mean is this what life is all about?; what living is all about? They say, it is not the goals that make who you are, it is what you become while achieving your goals. Does this mean if I follow my goals and act word by word my strategies, my life and myself is predictable? It seems boring, as I see it. Yeah, there would be success in the end, because this is how I define my success: by achieving the goals I have set for myself. And if I will be successful in achieving my goals, what then? Have I left a well-lived life when I'm gone? Perhaps to others who did not live my life as I live it. But to me? I guess, there is more to life than goals and the like.

I could not yet understand the point of it all. Anyway, life could never be understood. Maybe it is, to some who reach the point of living. I pray someday I would.  

Sunday, February 28, 2010

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