I have to admit something. While I was in my teens I thought having a serious sickness or disease is advantageous because it would invoke much sympathy and empathy from the people around you and from those who would hear your state. Yes, I was that hypochondriac during those times. I love it when I get sick. Whenever I have a headache, I believe I already have brain cancer. Whenever I am tired or stressed I thought I'm going to suffer a heart attack. Whenever I have a fever I thought I am dying.
But then, until now I am still alive. Perhaps that belief sprang from the need for attention, especially from my parents. They said middle born children mostly suffer from the lack of attention. I happened to be the second from the eldest. Maybe that explained it.
Now that I am literally mature in age, I hate and worry diseases. Just yesterday I suffered a very bad headache. I was afraid what was happening with my body. I would not want to die yet. Not now that my son is barely three years of age; most especially I have still many good things to do and be. I just discovered the beauty of life; I just created my goals and the strategies to achieve them. I have not yet lived my life fully. If ever I will go I do not have enough of myself to leave - have not shared my life that much to others. Oh, those thoughts.
Anyway, after work and after I have taken a medicine in an hour, the pain left me. Perhaps something in my body just went wrong but not that serious. The least thing I could have now is to be sick. As much as possible I tried everything to stay away from getting sick. I may not be able to do everything to stay away from it, but I now have a firm belief that God is healing me, everything in me, and that He would not let me go if it is not yet my time to go. Yes, God already is healing me.
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