Lesson Number Six: You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
This is a lesson I have first learned when I get married. I used to believe I have to win every argument because I assumed I was always right. Whatever I assumed right should always be right. Whenever someone challenges my beliefs and disposition I always shun away from that person. Because I was imprisoned with the belief that if I and the other person do not agree on something, we better separate ways. It was either you could be my friend, or could be my foe.
I grew up believing peaceful negotiations could never be attained. Thus, some of my decisions and choices in life were based on these false beliefs. And it had not done me any good. All because I had so many unlikely exits from people's lives and situations I never had the humility to accept defeat. I am carrying the guilt with me over friendships and relationships that I never had peaceful goodbyes just because of foolish pride. And the guilt was not worth it. It was like trading my happiness of today with the unhappiness of yesterday. This is what I have learned and still working on in my life--that winning in every argument, no matter how right I am, is not a right solution to any argument. Other person's feelings and disposition matters too. It pays much to not always be right and still loving, than to to be always right and unloving.
Now that I am married, I got beautiful a glimpse of how it is really to love a human being--I don't have to win every argument. Not because the other person is right, but because I love the person so as to let him win the argument and avoid further complications the argument could bring.
You may love to read the other lessons below: