Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Forgiveness Paves The Way To Happiness

     St. Paul comments, "I am doing the things I do not want to do, and not doing the things I want to do." Recently this has been my dilemma. It's my goal of becoming a happy person through following the Christian values. Hence the creation of this blog. However, my goal has just been tested. There is this person whom I come into contact with daily and successfully manages to make me boil inside and makes me unhappy. I detest her ways. I hate her attitude. Slowly the feelings inside me are magnified, especially when other critics of her talk against her back in front of me. I always affirmed their criticism against her and even added my own opinion and ill-feelings.
     Doing this daily drains me of my energy. Not only that, my conscience keeps on bugging me. Here I am, doing a personal growth blog, yet doing wayward things. When I could no longer handle my feelings, I consulted it to God. I said, there is no way I could correct the person because no one could change someone's attitude in an instant and without the person's consent. Moreover, when the person is not that emotionally and psychologically mature.
      Eventually God did not delay the answer. He answered in one word -- forgiveness. Forgiveness not so much to the person who caused me misery, because there would be many of them whom I would eventually encounter in my lifetime. But forgiveness in myself. The reason why I react negatively and painfully, is because I harbor within me those feeling of negativity and pains. In short, I have not fully forgiven myself from my mistakes in the past, thereby making me difficult to accept people as they are, good and bad alike. I have not fully forgiven and accepted myself as I am with all my weaknesses and shortcomings. This dawned on me. I was awakened from my deepest slumber. Yes, this is what I have to work on within myself. For if I were loving myself as I am, there would be no difficulty on my part accepting people as they are. With this realization I am so thankful to God. And I am happy.
     Get happy!

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